There are a lot of things inside and outside of a relationship in this day and age that can influence the outcome.
Relationships have bumps and they can appear at any time, which is why it is important to learn how to navigate them smoothly.
Experts have shared their thoughts on how to make a relationship last.
Here are some of them:
Choose Someone with Values Similar to Yours
Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at California State University, says that “For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better.”
Partners should be certain that they share the same values before getting into marriage.
Of course you and your partner may not be exactly the same, however, your differences can be accommodated and tolerated (and perhaps can even complement each other).
Differences in values would be a problem if your goal is long-lasting love.
Matchmaker at AgapeMatch.com, Maria Avgitidis, says “The person you are meant to be with has a similar lifestyle to you. They’ll have the same taste in how they spend their time and the same taste in how they spend their money.”
Having the same traits with your partner is a great factor for a lasting relationship.
Physical Contact? Yes Please!
No, this is not just about kissing, hugging, snuggling, or having more sex.
This is about doing simple acts like stroking your partner’s hair, holding hands when you’re walking down the street (I’m getting better at this one), or resting your head on your partner’s shoulder.
According to Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of Emotional Fitness for Couples, touching your partner throughout the day releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin, which will help reinforce your affection and make you feel closer on an instinctive level.
Have Each Other’s Back
It is important that you can count on each other.
Psychotherapist from New York City, JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D. says that even if you might disagree with your partner when he’s had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is not being fair, you should always stay on his side.
You don’t have to agree with him all the time. Just hear him out and let him feel that you’ll support him no matter what.
Know How to Forgive
Janis Abrahams Spring, clinical psychologist, family therapist and author of ‘After the Affair’ and ‘How Can I Forgive You?’ says “Forgiveness is not a gift – it’s a transaction.”
Understand the true nature of forgiveness.
It’s not a gift from the heart of someone who was hurt.
It’s a transaction between two people held together by a violation.
Also, a 2011 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology on “Forgiveness and Relationship Satisfaction” showed that, in relationships, a lack of forgiveness makes resolving conflict much less likely.
Lack of forgiveness was also shown to stir up negative emotions.
When you practice forgiveness, you have more positive motivation toward your partner.
No matter how long you’ve been together, relationships have simple, fundamental rules of the road.
Applying them isn’t always easy, but it’s essential.
Try to live by these points and you’ll be in a stronger and better relationship.
I will leave you with a hot tip one of my coaches, Tony Robbins, told me:
“Do what you did in the beginning of a relationship and there won’t be an end.”